You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
