I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
