You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
