i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
