lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
He has the fingertips of a God
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
