I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
