my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
