Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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