i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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