His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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