I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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