Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize