shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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