he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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