There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
