saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
