dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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