so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
