i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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