She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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