just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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