you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
false alarm, still single
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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