The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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