Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
