Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
