Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
