apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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