waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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