Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
