I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
