no, he came in my armpit
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
