drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
