so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
