She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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