Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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