these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
