So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
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Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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