why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
