Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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