I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
