Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
