Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
