I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
