your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
