STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
