I heard we made out
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
