Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
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So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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