I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm just crazy horny about you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
