If i come over, it means nothing
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Send help, water and tortillas.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
