I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
