are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize