You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
