Say something about gay babies.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
