Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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