So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
