Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize