apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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