Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
