Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize